Sunday, March 28, 2010

Draft Day!



Hello! Let's mine the Blood Diamond. It's finally here, Draft Day. Unfortunately, the day I have two drafts I am unable to live draft because of work. So I am apologizing in advance for the Auto-Pick. I have spent multiple hours carefully aligning my pre-draft rankings knowing that it will probably do no good. Luckily Baseball is a very long season and it's pretty easy to stay in contention with the waiver wire.

Let's get to what you have all been waiting for. This years projections for Plunker of the Year, or the Walter Johnson Award. Walter has the dubious record of the most career Hit Batsmen with 205 and is in the Baseball Hall of Fame.
(for all of you who would like some in depth bruising check this out:
http://www.baseball-almanac.com/recbooks/rb_hbp.shtml)

The Top three for 2009 were:
1. D Bush MIL -15
2. J Cueto CIN -14
3. J Chamberlain NYY -12
3. C Marmol CHC -12

Now, Since Joba has been moved back to the bullpen it will be much harder for him to win this award, but he will have much more time to drive drunk around Nebraska. So, we are projecting J. Chamberlain to win the 2010 Clunker of the Year with most hit pedestrians.

2010 Walter Johnson Award Projections:
1. Kevin Millwood BAL 16
2. Ubaldo Jimenez COL 15
3. Johnny Cueto CIN 12

Good luck every one in 2010. Special thanks to our sponsor Icy Hot.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Spring Raining


Welcome back Big Big Crispy Crunchers! Appropriately it's raining today for my first report of Twenty Ten. Which means most of the Spring Training Games have been washed out. A figurative cleansing rain, giving teams a fresh start with a chance to grow. It's a golden opportunity to wash away the demons of 2009 and sprinkle the ground with a seemingly healthy crop of championship hope for 2010. Now, I wish I could find the stats, but my guess is that there is quite a bit of plunking going on in Spring Training due to the multitude of unqualified pitchers manning the mound. Since there are no stats that I can find, I will venture a guess as to the multitudes of sporty college underclassmen and Caribbean players spending money on Ben Gay and Icy Hot. It's most likely greater than your high school graduating classes investment in tiny faux gold year denominators. Disappointment must be rampant. Imagine the combined smell in the community college bathrooms as these young men throw up after their first keg stands, injured parts in the faces of unsuspecting future secretaries, plumbers and grifters. Young clinger panties are flying and sticking onto seedy floors across the Western Hemisphere. That's right, Major League Baseball is almost here. Get ready Baseball fans, as God showers our collective faces; first pitches are about to arouse men, women and children alike across this great nation.

Senior Editor
Eddy P. Lavender