Spring Raining

Welcome back Big Big Crispy Crunchers! Appropriately it's raining today for my first report of Twenty Ten. Which means most of the Spring Training Games have been washed out. A figurative cleansing rain, giving teams a fresh start with a chance to grow. It's a golden opportunity to wash away the demons of 2009 and sprinkle the ground with a seemingly healthy crop of championship hope for 2010. Now, I wish I could find the stats, but my guess is that there is quite a bit of plunking going on in Spring Training due to the multitude of unqualified pitchers manning the mound. Since there are no stats that I can find, I will venture a guess as to the multitudes of sporty college underclassmen and Caribbean players spending money on Ben Gay and Icy Hot. It's most likely greater than your high school graduating classes investment in tiny faux gold year denominators. Disappointment must be rampant. Imagine the combined smell in the community college bathrooms as these young men throw up after their first keg stands, injured parts in the faces of unsuspecting future secretaries, plumbers and grifters. Young clinger panties are flying and sticking onto seedy floors across the Western Hemisphere. That's right, Major League Baseball is almost here. Get ready Baseball fans, as God showers our collective faces; first pitches are about to arouse men, women and children alike across this great nation.

Senior Editor
Eddy P. Lavender